Saying No

It is easy in our busy lives to continue to feed our "busyness" diseases. On my last retreat, at least 4 attendees claimed their biggest obstacle preventing them from having the life they want is the inability to say no. Over and over I work with people who claim they have no time to do what they want to do yet are filling their time with all kind of "shoulds" and "have tos" that they don't want to do.

Whether it's at our jobs, or our kids or taking on a community assignment, we are faced constantly with taking on more and more. We tell ourselves all kinds of stories about what saying no means ("I will lose my job", "they won't like me", etc.). Most of the time these stories are just not true!

This week I decided to look at the things in my life that were not adding to my energy. If it didn't feel good or make me feel more energized (usually) then I decided to quit or say no!

Here is what happened: 1) I turned down two business opportunities that might have made sense in the short term but did not fit into my larger vision. This felt great and freed up so much time to focus on activities that I really want to do (like this blog). 2) I gave up a board position that I have been holding for a couple of years. This board took up a lot of time and energy and I realized that I could still believe in the mission of the agency and give in other ways that would be more meaningful. The second I did this I felt tremendously lighter and free! Everyone understood and was very supportive. 3). My son had a cast party last night and needed to get picked up super late. I had my younger son at home. I resisted the urge to be the perfect mom and find some way to get him. Instead I asked my son's father to bring him home, left the light on and went to bed at a reasonable hour. And guess what? My son got a ride home and I got a great night's sleep.

So I encourage you to look at the things in your life that you are doing that you would rather not be doing. Ask yourself how they serve you. Think about how it might feel if you could let them go and free up that time. What fears come up for you? Are they valid? Can you let those go to? This is a practice so go slowly as you build this new muscle. Good luck and enjoy the new space you create.

Let me know how that goes for you 😀🙏