There are many things in my life that I am grateful for and many tools and tactics that have helped me on my journey but I have come to realize that finding a close group of friends that love and support me unconditionally is probably the most valuable one.
I have to be honest; this has taken me until this point in my life. And I think it's because it's taken me this long to really find my truth. I have always had a lot of close friends but my current tribe is different. They feel like my true soul family. They are always there for me, show up as I need them, never judge, tell me when I am wrong, give me advice when I ask for it and tell me that I am awesome all the time.
Everyone needs this in their life!!! Don't settle for less than that. Find people that give you space to fly your freak flag and love you because of it. Tell them everything and have them still love you. Show up for them the way they show up for you. It will fill you with gratitude and change your whole life.
I am sending out oodles of love and gratitude to my tribe - you know who you are and of course you read my blog every day 😘
Good morning! I had a remarkable breakthrough on fear yesterday and am so excited to share it!!
So how often do you get paralyzed from doing something because your mind goes to the worst possible place and sends you into a fear spiral and you jump into a deep hole of avoidance??? Here is what happened to me. I needed a medical procedure done. The doctor had previously told me he wanted me to do it in the hospital, that it would lead to me needing orher things done, blah blah blah (would cost a fortune) and I have terrible insurance. So although I didn't agree with the approach per se (sounded like overkill and I knew there was an easier way to get it done) I irresponsibly avoided getting this done for months. It created a whole bunch of static for me, as you can imagine, so I decided to finally look at it. The first thing I did was talk to a girlfriend about my fears. This is a big deal as there is so much shame around these big, hairy fear balls right? She gave me a very refreshing perspective about her recent experience and had me call my insurance company. Not only did she make me feel better, but now I had an ally with my issue (which is awesome).
So to make a long story short, I confronted this issue, went to my doctor, had the procedure done in the office in 15 minutes for minimal cost and cleared up all the static!!!
Are there places in your life causing static because you are scared of confronting them? Try shedding some light on them. You will feel much freer and lighter I promise! Let me know how it goes 😀.
Happy Tuesday. So today's thought is on a lesson I am desperately trying to teach my teenager and one of the most important lessons there is: being accountable and taking personal responsibility. When something goes wrong, it is very easy to blame someone else, especially someone close to us. Pay close attention when you do this. When something goes wrong, what is the first pronoun out of your mouth? Is it he or she??? If so, switch it to I. It might be something like this: She really screwed up that email and now we are going to lose that deal - this is defeatess and negative and won't get you anywhere! Try instead to reframe that: I am a great problem solver and I can figure out how to turn this situation around. Or I am a great mentor and I can use this as an opportunity to teach her a valuable lesson.
Here's another example. The way this shows up in my life is usually around things going wrong in the house. I had a friend help with a lot of work when I moved in. When something breaks or I discover something that needs to be done my inner voice starts saying "I can't believe he didn't fix that". So I force myself to turn that into "I really need to take care of that". It is way more empowering to think of it that way. I also really don't need to make my friend wrong. He isn't!
Good luck as you try this on and have a fantastic day!
Happy Monday! So recently I have had a few friends reveal to me that when good things happen to other people, they feel jealous and inadequate. They start to question "why her" ? Right? I found myself doing it the other day when a friend of mine posted her new beautiful engagament ring on Facebook (and trust me, I don't even WANT to get married). Social media has made keeping up with the Jones a national sport that goes on 24/7. It is difficult to see everyone's perfect life on Facebook especially in times of difficulty.
So I am here to give you two simple lessons that I have learned in this lifetime:
1) Things are rarely as they appear; especially on Facebook. Resist the urge to compare yourself to anyone else. You have no idea what is really going on for them or what their path is. Furthermore, accept that your path is perfect and everything is happening exactly as it should at the exact right time
2). Practice being happy for your friends. It is a generous thing to do and it will feel good. At first it might feel inauthentic. If jealousy shows up, acknowledge that and repeat "this says nothing about me and my path" and then be happy for them. It will pay off, I promise!!!!
I would love to hear how this goes for you! Xo
It's Saturday so let's keep it super simple today. Some days your body tells you to rest. My advice is to listen to it! We are all so busy that sometimes a nap or staying in and watching a movie will give us the nourishment we need. I spent many years fighting that and always doing but now when I am tired, I take a nap. And I just did. Have a fantastic weekend!!! Xo
The most dangerous question we can ask ourselves is WHY. "Why did I say that?, Why did this happen to me? Why did she do that?" We beat ourselves up for the choices we made, the behaviors we exhibited and the things that we said. Well, today, I'm going to give you a little bit of peace. What if every time we hear the word "why" in our monkey mind, we replace it with "because, it is".....That's it.... It is.
Perhaps their is a greater reason that this event occurred that we can't possibly see or understand at this moment. Even the greatest changes, obstacles or tragedies might be setting us up for bigger, better purposes that we can't possibly understand or foresee. Inevitably in life, when something happens, it always opens up the door for something better to take it's place - you lose a job, a better one comes along; you lose a friend, a new one appears; you end a relationship for yet a better one. And if that doesn't happen, perhaps we need to just trust that what we needed for that moment was the blank space and time....Time without a job, time with ourselves, time between relationships. It all comes down to trusting WHAT IS as opposed to WHY.
I know that this is not an easy practice. There are tools to help....Yoga and meditation will help to quiet the mind; reading books on spirituality will help reinforce these concepts...In the meantime, try this really easy practice of shutting down WHYs wherever they appear today and see how you feel - I would love to hear about it. Have a beautiful day and a lovely holiday should you be celebrating Easter. xo
So if you recall our talk on manifesting change, we started with creating a vision (see earlier posts). The next step in creating that change is to gain a solid, documented understanding of your strengths.
Their are many ways to do this but the following is a list of possible tools you can leverage:
- VIA strength inventory (google it . It's a free survey)
- Cultural Index, Myers Briggs, DISC or any other personality assessment you may have done at work
- 360 reviews or employee assessments
- Journal about times you have succeeded or have overcome obstacles. Indicate what strengths you had demonstrated in those examples
- Interview people that know you and ask them what strengths they think you exhibiit
- write a list of people (real or imaginary) that you admire. What strengths do you like about them
So pick one, two or three of these exercises and do them. When you are complete, write a list of all the strengths that came up from them. Prioritize them in order of "heat". Which ones resonate the most for you.? Distill your list down to the top 3 or 4. This is your strength assessment.
We will use this as we move through this change process. See the complete methodology here: www.enlivenretreats.com/methodology
Have a great day!
Happy Wednesday! How you start your day a key indicator in how your day is going to be. If you are not a morning person this might sound alarming but like anything else you can reprogram your brain to wake up happy!!
What is the first thing that you do when your alarm goes off? (Besides snooze??). So here is a simple practice that I recommend doing every morning to start your day off happily:
1) Acknowledge that it is morning and a new day; a new opportunity to do something great
2) Find something (anything) to express gratitude for (see yesterday's post)
3) Find something in your day that you are excited about (even if it's just that you made it to hump day!)
4) Read or listen to something that makes you happy; either a song, a poem or a meditation. There are fantastic books with daily inspirational quotes. I always keep one on my nightstand and reach for it first thing every morning.
5) Find something visually appealling. It could be a picture or art. I have a prism that I can see a rainbow in. It does the trick
6). Move! Stretch, do some jumping jacks, something
If done properly (😉) this should take about 3 minutes. Try it (but make sure you stay with it. It takes 21 days to create a new habit). Let me know how it goes and I really hope you have a fantastic day!
One of the hardest things to do in this life is to rewire your brain to think positively rather than look for the negative in things. It is, however, possible if train those positivity muscles. The easiest way I know how to do this is to start and end each day with a gratitude journal. This is how you do it: take out your journal (or think it - I always think it) right before you go to bed and "force" yourself to come up with 5 things you are grateful for. Write them down. "Today I am grateful for..." The first time you do this you may only come up with one or two things and it might feel awkward but keep trying!!! These can be the most mundane things like sunshine, hot coffee, a friend. When you get more advanced you might want to add really hard things like people with whom you have had major issues (even if it's really hard and you feel a bit inauthentic). Then do this again when you wake up in the morning. And then again and night and again in the morning. I think you get the idea?
When you do this for a while, you won't believe what happens - you actually develop a grateful way of being. You will see beauty and gratitude all around you! You won't believe how many things there are to be grateful for. Try it and let me know how it goes.
I have to go now and look at the gorgeous snow that fell last night 😉
Happy Monday! Do you ever stop to look at how many things you do during the day make you irritated? I dare you to spend a day and document a complete list of any task you conduct that causes a negative feeling (let's call this static). So many of these things are ingrained in our "normal" that we may not even notice them anymore. For example, my icemaker stopped working in my freezer so every morning I would go to put ice in my water bottle and there was none (arggh!).
Once you are aware of these irritants make a practice of solving them one by one (I started buying ice at the super market as I could not bare calling the appliance repair guy). After each fix, take note of how you feel. Journal the fix and the feeling. Keep clearing this list until it is all done (and then you'll probably need a new list).
You can't start making big changes in your life until you clear out the static 😀. Have a great Monday!!!
The one constant in life is change. How we navigate that change is who we are. Creating sustainable change is a more deliberate action and gives us the life we want. This is what my practice and my life mission is all about. All of my life experiences, work history and spiritual journey have lead me to this path - to help others create transformation in their lives and live lives that they love.